93 - Parenting with Heart - Twelve Characteristics of a Healthy Family (Part 2)
"Living with Heart" Podcast is brought to you by Chip Dodd Resources (www.chipdodd.com) and The Voice of the Heart Center (vothcenter.com). You can connect with Dr. Chip Dodd at chip@chipdodd.com. Contact Bryan Barley for coaching at bryan@vothcenter.com.
It is already November, and Christmas is just around the corner. How are you going to keep Christ in Christmas this year? I recommend spending a few minutes each day in December reading The Jesse Tree: A Christmas Devotional. This devotional will take you through the Bible, from Genesis to the birth of Jesus. Each day focuses on God’s protection of the royal line of Jesus and God’s plan of redemption for His people.
2 Helpful and free resources along your parenting journey:
Characteristics of a Functional Family
I recommend purchasing a copy of How Are You Feeling Today?
This children’s book about feelings will help you get started in guiding your children to understand express their feelings. This would be a great Christmas present for the children in your lives.
The Remaining 6 Characteristics of a Healthy Family:
6. Family members can be different.
7. Parents do what they say, and they are self-disciplined disciplinarians.
8. Roles are flexible and chosen; no one person “always” has the same “job.”
9. Rules require accountability.
10. Violation of healthy family values leads to guilt.
11. Mistakes are forgiven and viewed as learning tools.
12. Parents are aware of not being God; they have healthy shame.
In healthy relationships six general principles create a foundation for emotional, spiritual, and relational development:
I can talk openly about things that are important to me.
I can name my feelings, values, beliefs, and keep my behaviors consistent with them.
I can define the limits of what I can comfortably do or give.
I can clarify what is acceptable or tolerable in a relationship.
I can share my vulnerabilities and competencies with others.
I can give others permission to do the same things.
TO ALL PARENTS:
Please remember that the list the characteristics of a healthy family is not about a perfect family; it is about a functioning family.
A functional family is simply and consistently working on “working things out” for love’s sake.
Perfect isn’t functional. An atmosphere of perfection is oppressive; it is just as damaging as a chaotic atmosphere is abandoning. Neither a perfectionistic nor a chaotic atmosphere advance emotional, spiritual, and relational growth.
To parent well, we need to be willing to seek aid, wisdom, and courage from God and others. No one has all the answers, but our humility can allow us to have more than we would have without asking.
Dr. Chip Dodd
Voice of the Heart Center