119 - How Do I Find My Anger?
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Anger is discussed in depth in The Voice of the Heart by Chip Dodd
The following are ideas that relate to the chapter on Anger.
Rage versus anger
When discussing anger, we have to start with what it isn’t because we have been misled to confuse anger and rage:
Rage is what a person does to avoid vulnerability. It is always rooted in fear of helplessness.
Anger is what a person has when they are willing to be vulnerable.
Anger really is the feeling that expresses our willingness to be hurt because something or someone matters to us.
Synonyms that relate to the experience of anger are yearning, longing, hoping, wanting, hungering, thirsting, and desiring. All of these words are vulnerable experiences that require courage to reveal.
The gift that comes from anger is passion that leads to a willingness to be in pain/care for something or someone that matters more than pain or discomfort.
To “find” or discover your anger, it helps to ask yourself these questions:
What do I hunger for?
What do I desire that I am willing to be in pain about?
What do I see that needs to be improved, changed, or grown and will require me to risk and “sweat”?
What matters to me enough that I am willing to speak up about or show up in to help make a positive difference?
What do I imagine could be that I am willing to invest in?
Anger and hope
When a person “finds” their anger, they are also facing their hope for something to be fulfilled that has not yet happened.
Anger helps us deal with the fears of failure because the risk is worth the pain.
Anger is invaluable if we are going to risk taking action related to hope.
Cultural distortion around anger
We have seen so much damage that occurs through the reactivity of rage that we fear seeing that anger is good. The word has become “guilty” by association with harm.
Anger, passion, and care are all associated.
In rage there is only self-preservation.
In anger there is a willingness to be hurt for a cause.
It is “response-ability” to care, while rage is reactivity, not “response-ability.”
From that context, Mother Teresa lived angrily, as did Abraham Lincoln, and Moses.
Anger is constructive in a world that is so often destructive.
Be angry and do good things.
Dr. Chip Dodd
Voice of the Heart Center
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