77 - Out of the Pit: Returning to Being Human and Productive
The "Living with Heart" Podcast is brought to you by Chip Dodd Resources (www.chipdodd.com) and The Voice of the Heart Center (vothcenter.com). You can connect with Dr. Chip Dodd at chip@chipdodd.com. Contact Bryan Barley for coaching at bryan@vothcenter.com.
The Five Pitfalls:
Work becomes confused with one’s worth.
Performance begins to be valued more than one’s presence.
People become things.
To be an example to others, the true self is isolated.
Secrets sap one’s passion and purpose.
These pitfalls can destroy careers, friendships, reputations, marriages and families—unless one is freed from them.
Out of the Pit
Hopeful Truths:
Freedom is not only possible; we are created for it.
The descent into the Pitfalls can be stopped at any time. When the leader who is descending into the pitfalls experiences an intervention from others whom the leader listens to and healthily responds to, the descent can be stopped. Also, if the leader comes to an awareness of his/her descent and cries out and is heard and responded to by others, the descent can be stopped.
There is a path that takes us out of the Pit; we can ascend. Freedom is not only possible; we are created for it.
The people who dare to “come back to life” are some of the greatest blessers in this world:
They have humility and passion.
They have compassion because of empathy.
They are doers who are relational.
They are witnesses to what God can do with a person who dares to be in need.
Their “loss” can become many others’ gains.
They are witnesses of John Newton’s hymn, Amazing Grace.
That which we think has destroyed us has opened up a future before us. Listen to Episode #26 “Becoming a Portable Sanctuary.
The woundedness of the leader, coordinated with their healing, becomes the leader’s newly discovered productivity.
Liberation from bondage is available. If there is breath, there is hope.
Recovery from addiction to control begins with:
Confession: the recognition of and “fessing up” to being human, which means that I feel and I need more than I can handle or manage without relational help.
Admission:
The acknowledgment of powerlessness over life
The profound awareness that the more I have attempted to do it alone, the more unmanageable my life has become.
In these two beginning steps, the impaired leader must admit the specific nature of his/her secrets in order to get relief.
As the leader begins the process of recovery, he/she realizes and accepts that:
1. Dissociation and detachment from the true self changes (often slowly) and the leader becomes re-associated or reconnected with the true self.
2. They are created as emotional and spiritual creatures, created to do one thing in life, and that is live fully. But we cannot live fully without doing so in relationship with ourselves, others and God. The Voice of the Heart: A Call to Full Living by Chip Dodd.
3. The DNA of the human being is created to find nourishment and strength in relationship.
Human beings are creatures of the heart. Ayn Rand, an noted atheist, said: “Throughout the centuries there were men who took first steps down new roads armed with nothing but their own vision.” Foutainhead by Ayn Rand
The book of Hebrews commends the ancients, the great witnesses of faith and courage, for their faith: “Now faith is being sure of what you hope for and certain of what you do not see.” Hebrews 11:1 (NIV)
Ecclesiastes 3:11 (NIV) says, “He has set eternity in the hearts of men; yet they cannot fathom what God has done from beginning to end.”
We carry feelings, needs, desire, longings and hope in our hearts, along with the imagination of a fulfilled life of great results, but we are not in control of life.
There are three principles that heal the leader and return the leader to productivity. The leader:
Reawakens to and practices the essential language of the heart.
He or she returns to feeling their feelings.
Practices responsibly telling the truth about his or her feelings to emotionally healthy people.
Begins to trust that there is a process of living that God controls, and the person offers his or her feelings and the truth to the “process” of how life actually works.
These principles are shared throughout the “Living with Heart” podcast. Episodes 18-26 specifically focus on the process of how life works and dealing truthfully with feelings.
There is no greater freedom than to live with “a pure heart, and a clear conscience, and a sincere faith” (I Timothy 1:5, NIV) that allows us to live our lives in healthy shame and with greatness of a the calling to share one’s gifts with a world in need.
Dr. Chip Dodd
Voice of the Heart Center