Embracing Fear: A Path to Courage
Fear is often misunderstood as something to overcome, suppress, or simply “push through.” In many circles—especially among parents and leaders—fear is labeled as weakness. But what if fear isn’t the enemy? What if fear, the feeling we are taught to suppress, is actually a tool designed to help us navigate our limitations?
The Lion King
We see this truth in The Lion King. After the death of his father, Simba is overwhelmed by fear. Believing he’s responsible, he runs away and tries to suppress not just his fear, but his entire identity. He hides behind a carefree life, avoiding the pain and fear that still live inside him. But ultimately, it’s facing that fear—returning home, confronting his past, and accepting his role—that allows Simba to step into his true strength in living life to the full as the king. His fear wasn’t weakness; it was the doorway back to purpose, connection, and courage.
Listen to Fear
When fully felt and acknowledged, fear can be a profound guide. It reveals what we care about, what we’re afraid to lose, and what we long to protect. Fear invites us to pay attention—to notice what matters most and move toward what brings safety, security, and clarity. Rather than paralyzing us, fear can sharpen our awareness and prepare us to act when we feel unsure or overwhelmed.
Fear doesn’t force us to change, but it does bring clarity to the choices in front of us. When we ignore or suppress fear, we tend to swing to one of two extremes: recklessness, where we deny danger and charge ahead blindly; or avoidance, where we shrink back and refuse to face necessary risks. Neither path leads to growth. But when we listen to our fear, we can move forward with thoughtful bravery.
Healthy fear also connects us to others. It reminds us that we’re not enough on our own—that we need guidance, support, and perspective beyond ourselves. A parent who feels fear becomes more responsive. A leader who feels fear becomes more discerning. Far from a flaw, fear can be the very thing that helps us recognize wisdom in others and seek it out.
When Fear Turns Into Anxiety
When we don’t have a safe place to process fear, it often morphs into anxiety—a sense of being out of control. At its core, anxiety is an attempt to regain control even in situations where we have no control. It’s the body’s last-ditch effort to grasp for stability when everything around us signals that we are not safe. In this anxious state, we default to self-protection: fight, flight, freeze, or fawn. So, anxiety is not a badness within us but a physiological process that keeps us safe. Yet, when we are “stuck” in anxiety it becomes a way we move away from the heart and toward self-sufficiency, an attempt to survive alone.
Relief from anxiety doesn’t come from more control—it comes from courage. The courage to turn and face our fear. The willingness to name it and need others in the middle of it. When we allow ourselves to do this in the presence of safe, trusted people, fear becomes the beginning of courage—not in spite of our vulnerability, but because of it.
EMDR and Freedom
I work with many clients who spend years in a web of fear and anxiety. Avoiding many memories that were tied up in the negative beliefs that “I am not good enough” and “I am inadequate.” On the surface, these clients look put-together – successful at work, steady at home – but underneath is the tightly woven web of anxiety that drives perfectionism and self-doubt. Through EMDR therapy (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing)(link to other emdr blog), they are able to revisit that fear in a safe, contained way. As we process painful memories together, what once felt overwhelming begins to lose its grip. They don’t become fearless—but they become free from anxiety. By facing the fear rather than suppressing it, they reclaim their agency. They start moving forward with courage, not avoidance. EMDR doesn’t erase the fear—it helps us integrate it, and in doing so, gives us access to the wisdom we’ve been carrying all along. The work invites us to have the courage to live life in real relationships instead of relationships that are built on pretending and avoiding.
Fear isn’t something to conquer—it’s something to listen to. When we face it with honesty and support, fear can lead us not away from life, but deeper into it—with greater clarity, connection, and courage.
Written by Alex Courington