Real Care of Self
It’s been a while since I’ve had a slow morning. I mean, the kind where the coffee brews and you watch it drip. Where you can hear the birds and listen to the sound of your own breath, because it’s quiet. No one needs me. I’m enjoying it.
Wrapped in a faux mink blanket, my seat planted on the still-damp-from-dew patio furniture, I find my thoughts wander to all it took for me to be here - on this weekend away.
I can still hear the “please don’t leave” from the six year old, demanding I stay. I remember the big news the teenager got this week, and not the good kind. And I think about how much scheduling it took to get here and, of course, the financial cost.
I’ve often wondered - Is it worth all that? For me to be away? Am I worth it?
After two years of taking regular mini getaways, I know, unwaveringly, the answer is, “Yes.” Sometimes I get away alone, sometimes with a friend, and other times I’m seeking specific healing-work for my own heart. Regardless of the methods, I’m certain that I’m offering myself real love in this act. Real love that then allows me to live my purpose more fully.
The payout is always more than I could have planned and I find I’m divinely provided for; provided for far beyond the logistical, emotional, and financial price it took.
We’re all made with needs that we can’t escape, though we do try. To surrender to our Higher Power means that we must surrender to our God-given needs. Our needs for comfort, connection (with ourselves and others), rest, guidance.
Women have insufficient ways of attempting to get these needs met, most of which have something to do with how good women are at “running the show” (and by that I mean she’s relied upon by the many, responsible for much, and multitasking like a champ).
To be clear, I am talking about real care of myself (self-care) that comes from accepting myself as a creature with true needs. These are needs I don’t get to dictate but needs I am made with. I am talking about deep, heart level shifts. Such shifts are available to us when we find access to our needs, through our feelings, which we often need others for. When we reach out for help.
It is through surrendering to our needs that we rediscover our truest selves. I am powerless over having these needs, and my heart’s desire is to get them met so I can live fully, love deeply, and lead well in my world.
Written by Beth Ann Mergens