What Can I Expect in Counseling?
Counseling is a courageous step towards living more fully and truthfully. It begins with an honest naming of what is true in your life - what hurts, what you feel afraid of, what losses you’ve carried, or even what gladness you have been afraid to trust. Counseling is a space to come as you are - including whatever you are feeling, carrying, or hoping for. You are not expected to be “ready” in the way the world often demands, but to show up honest, open, and willing.
In your first session, expect to be invited into a process of naming what is true in your heart. That may include pain that you’ve tucked away or longings you have tried to silence. You will be met with compassion, not correction; with welcome, not judgement. Counseling is a place for the eight core feelings to be named and held: hurt, lonely, sad, anger, fear, shame, guilt, and glad. Each feeling is a tool that offers direction to your unmet needs and your longing for healing, connection, comfort, or joy.
Preparing for your first session doesn’t require you to figure everything out beforehand. Instead, try asking yourself this: “What am I feeling?” and “Where am I longing to be met, heard, or understood?” It’s enough to come willing to be honest about what’s real for you.
The path of healing starts with showing up. Not perfectly. Just fully. You may feel anxious, uncertain, or even hopeful. All of those feelings belong. Bring your whole heart—messy, beautiful, scared, strong—and trust that the process begins with presence, not perfection.
One helpful way to understand the counseling process is through a tool called Johari’s Window. It’s a simple framework that helps us grow in self-awareness and relational connection by looking at four “windows” of our lives:
Open self: What I know about me and others know too.
Secret self: What I know about me, but others don’t.
Blind self: What others see about me that I can’t yet see.
Unknown self: What neither I nor others yet know—it’s waiting to be discovered.
Counseling helps you gently open all four windows. You’ll share what's hidden, explore what’s blind, and become curious about what’s unknown. As you do, your “open window” expands—bringing more of your heart into the light. This is the beginning of connection: with yourself, with others, and with God.
Written by Alex Courington, LMFT
The content in this blog was partially generated with the assistance of ChatGPT, an AI language model developed by OpenAI.